Touchdown!

By Michael T. Dale

So, you’re a Cleveland Browns fan? There are many things in this world that we can look forward to. There are many things that are considered to be a constant in this ever changing world of ours, for example, the miracle of giving birth, the rising and falling of the sun, the rising and falling of Oprah’s weight and the miracle if she ever gave birth some day. Much like these constants, we all know that Cleveland will suck year after year.

I understand and feel your pain. I also know the pains of believing in something year after year after year only to have your hopes once again dashed before your very eyes, for I myself vote Republican. But, it really doesn’t matter how you vote. The fact remains that we as Browns fans must come together and unite around that glorious Cleveland fighting chant that we hear so often at every Cleveland Browns game: “Wait till next year.” It is this underlying truth that pulls us Cleveland Browns fans together. It is our flag that we stick in the ground of the mediocrity we call Cleveland football.

Oh sure, some teams such the Colts and the Steelers rally around great quarterbacks, but these teams also suffer with the added risk of injury that can be caused by carrying all those Lombardy trophies around. One slip on a newly waxed floor can cause that trophy to come tumbling down resulting in a twisted ankle or a severe ACL tear thus ending the careers of some of the greatest janitors this game has ever known.

None of those teams has the vision and clear insight to always be looking ahead to next year like the Cleveland Browns do. All those teams have their shortsighted attention in the present with only enough vision to look forward to the games that must be played in February. But, we as Cleveland Browns fans, do not have to look at only the games that need to be played in February for we have the unique distinction in the NFL to always be looking at what lies to come, paving our hopes on that someday future greatness. It is this forward thinking which defines the Cleveland Browns fans just as much as the bags upon our heads. We are one of the few teams which gets to spend that extra time off every postseason celebrating that annual tradition of searching for a new quarterback and head coach.

Not every year is that bad for us Cleveland Browns fans for we all can look fondly back at the ’96 to ’99 seasons as some of the best that we’ve ever had. So, how exactly does the Cleveland Browns fan survive in this present day? The answer is simple. No matter how bad, no matter how much worse this team and this season can get, we can always say with proud hearts that at least we’re not the Detroit Lions.

Michael Dale is a humor writer and life long sports fan.

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